Wed. 9-10 1:21pm- 1:41 (20 min)
My Feelings about My Experience of Writing:
* Apprehensive: I am not an expert, so who would want to hear my thoughts
* Lost: I don't know that I have enough to write about. I don't have any personal research at this point. All I have are ideas, opinions, and research I have read as well as other things I have read from other people.
*Excited: While I don't have my own research I do feel that I can connect ideas. I believe I have a welcoming author voice. But, I do worry it is not very academic.
*Illiterate: I don't have the vocabulary I feel an academic writer should have. I have a hard time remember things too, so I have to look things up a lot. I'm a slow writer.
I get angry with myself for procrastinating this leaves me feeling inadequate.
I feel I write better when I let my "narrative" voice write vs. my "ivory tower" voice write.
*Giddy/Thrilled/Proud/Accomplished when I hear someone say they were touched/moved/inspired to think after reading something I wrote.
Common Elements in My Negative Feeling about Writing:
I think my negative anxieties stem from my lack of self-confidence. I was not an excellent or intellectual student when I was younger. Although, I think I was actually an intellectual youth. I just never transferred that into my academics. I never saw myself as an academic or validated to have an opinion about big issues. The issues I talk about are abstract and conceptual/theoretical. Many people in my personal life live in the factual/black& white mode of engaging. I am not one to remember dates and specifics. My brain has a difficult time with that. I also do think about what others will think of me and I like to be accepted. I am social.
Lessons to Be Learned from My Positive Experiences of Writing:
So if my writing manages to move and inspire people there must be something there. I am learning a new genre not the entire skill of writing. I am actually a good writer. I just need to work on allowing myself to NOT be a perfectionist.
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